Valentines Curse Strikes Again
Now I remember why I hate Valentines Day. Even if this happened a few days after, it is just too close for comfort.
Rick overheard me speaking to Fannie's father and I was venting about him being controlling and overly jealous. I made a remark of how if things didn't work out I had been thinking about moving back to Columbia, SC. I have three children who live there and I lived there for 10 years. Since Rick heard this he has basically ended it with me and told me he cannot trust me and if I wanted to be with my ex then that is what I should do. I never said I was going back to my ex, just thinking of moving back to Columbia if things didn't work out. I had lunch with him today and he told me I might as well have had sex with someone else, cause a "knife in the heart feels the same either way". The reason I was venting....He called me his ex's name at a really awkward moment; if you get my drift. It hurt and maybe subconsciously I wanted to make him jealous. We were both drinking. I know now for 100% I cannot drink and lose control of my feelings. I have verified with my ex everything I thought I said was what I said and there was no misunderstanding that I was wanting to reconcile.
Rick has shown me several times how jealous he is and he is controlling. I have apologized for hurting his feelings, he says he has trust issues and cannot forget what I did. I don't know if what I did is so unforgivable. Yes, I should have talked to him and not someone else. If anyone out there has an idea let me know; please.
I am not sure it is worth working on if I am going to be punished for my mistakes like this. I was basically living with him, he promptly dropped me off at my mother's and told me the next day that he didn't think he would be able to work this out. We had lunch today and he made a date with me for Friday night. Why? I know I have to keep my emotions under control when I am around him. I am just waiting to see how this pans out.
How can you be so happy one day and the next day think it is not worth working out? Help!
Rick overheard me speaking to Fannie's father and I was venting about him being controlling and overly jealous. I made a remark of how if things didn't work out I had been thinking about moving back to Columbia, SC. I have three children who live there and I lived there for 10 years. Since Rick heard this he has basically ended it with me and told me he cannot trust me and if I wanted to be with my ex then that is what I should do. I never said I was going back to my ex, just thinking of moving back to Columbia if things didn't work out. I had lunch with him today and he told me I might as well have had sex with someone else, cause a "knife in the heart feels the same either way". The reason I was venting....He called me his ex's name at a really awkward moment; if you get my drift. It hurt and maybe subconsciously I wanted to make him jealous. We were both drinking. I know now for 100% I cannot drink and lose control of my feelings. I have verified with my ex everything I thought I said was what I said and there was no misunderstanding that I was wanting to reconcile.
Rick has shown me several times how jealous he is and he is controlling. I have apologized for hurting his feelings, he says he has trust issues and cannot forget what I did. I don't know if what I did is so unforgivable. Yes, I should have talked to him and not someone else. If anyone out there has an idea let me know; please.
I am not sure it is worth working on if I am going to be punished for my mistakes like this. I was basically living with him, he promptly dropped me off at my mother's and told me the next day that he didn't think he would be able to work this out. We had lunch today and he made a date with me for Friday night. Why? I know I have to keep my emotions under control when I am around him. I am just waiting to see how this pans out.
How can you be so happy one day and the next day think it is not worth working out? Help!
posted by lifemundane at 4:50 PM
1 Comments:
Aunt Meri, trust me... what you did was not all that bad... actually it wasnt bad at all! And if he called you his ex's name... well, he should be the one who isnt forgiven! That isnt cool, not at all! You were just saying IF it didnt work out you were going to move back... to where your kids are.. so no you have no reason to even feel bad.
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